Feeling….
December 15, 2008
It is official: I am employed. I will be beginning my first shift on January 5th, which makes me both nervous and happy all at the same time.
As I half expected, DH is already beginning to drive me insane: He has already planned out exactly how I am going to be spending my paycheck. When he began his current employment I suggested a couple of things and was immediately told I was not in charge of his paycheck and that was supposed to be that; I am going to have to fight to be able to have my own paycheck and use it to my specifications and not his. Looking forward to this I am not.
What has he planned? Me paying the house payment. I have always paid the house payment/ rent every since we have been together, so this is a given (I don’t want to be homeless). He has also planned on me getting a van, converting it, and paying for everything. I should be clearing about $840-$850 a month. The house payment is $750. Do you see a problem here with making a car payment? DH has everything planned out, but he isn’t seeing any sort of limitations. I don’t want to argue my way through everything. It would really be nice for just one time for him to let up on me and give me some breathing room.
Enough about DH. I am already stressed out the yin-yang because of him and his stupid attitudes currently. My blood pressure has decided to try and cause problems again. The medications have been changed. Hopefully this will get me through my job and having some sort of life.
Lexington is looking forward to a nice winter storm. Yesterday the forecast was that there was a “possible” snow and ice storm heading our way. This morning when I was preparing to get out and do some Christmas shopping (actually finish up the shopping) the “watch” became a “warning” and the shopping trip for today was cancelled. I am already planning on being out on Wednesday so I will finish up my shopping then.
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As for the Christmas spirit…well, it still isn’t here this year. I don’t know why exactly either. This is usually my favorite time of year. Hope is practically palpable, but not this year. Perhaps I have been under more stress than I expected or am willing to accept. The economy has really put a damper on my Christmas buying and the hope, well, it just can’t be found any where no matter how hard I look for it. Could it be that if I stop looking for the much needed hope I might actually find it?
